SEX AND INTIMACY COUNSELING
Do you recognize any of the following statements?
- You have infrequent or no sex and both want to make a change
- Sex is a loaded topic that you fight about or never, ever discuss
- You've lost your sexual desire and wonder how to get it back
- You want more sex than your partner and this creates tension
- You have sex out of obligation or frequently turn your partner down
- You spend more time with your phone, rather than your partner
- You've put sex on the back burner due to exhaustion or no time
- Sex is not worth having, because it's boring, unsatisfying or painful
- You long to try something new, but don't know how to talk about it
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, you’re not alone. Many committed couples have difficulties with sex and intimacy. They either struggle with communicating about sex or finding the time or motivation to even have sex, let alone exciting sex. In fact, sex is one of the most common reasons that couples seek therapy.
If this rings a bell, take heart. There is a way to have a satisfying, exciting, adventurous and intimate sex life with your partner. I’m here to help lead the way, even if you haven’t had sex in years.
What is Sex and Intimacy Counseling?
Sex and intimacy counseling is a form of talk therapy for couples. It involves providing accurate information about sex, as well as specific suggestions and resources on what can be tried in order to resolve the issue.
During the counseling sessions, you’ll be learning new communication skills that will enable you to be heard, validated, and empathized with by your partner. At home you’ll be engaging in simple exercises that will help you rekindle your sex life, at your own pace and comfort level.
A sex counselor, like a sex therapist, has training in sexology. Sex counseling is brief and focuses on helping clients find solutions in the here and now, without delving too much in the past. Whereas, Sex therapy is often more intensive and sex therapists are more specialized in treating complex concerns and/or trauma.
My Approach
I use an integrative approach, which combines sex and intimacy counseling with different forms of couples therapy, such as, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT). I also utilize Mindfulness-based interventions, when needed.
I have over ten years of experience providing traditional couples therapy, focusing on general relationship issues. Recently, I shifted the focus of my work towards helping couples improve their sex lives.
Since relationship patterns that occur outside the bedroom, also show up in the bedroom, I will at times be discussing general couples issues with you. However, I will do so in relation to how these issues affect sex and intimacy.
While I work with many different issues around sex and intimacy, I primarily work with couples who are experiencing low or no sex in their relationship. I also work with couples where there is a mismatch of desire or sexual interests and with couples who want to explore alternative sexual lifestyles, such as CNM and/or BDSM.
Although I’m accepting of all forms of consensual sexual expression, I currently do not work with polyamorous triads or quads, due to my lack of expertise in this area.
What You’ll Learn
The program I offer ranges from a minimum of six to a maximum of twelve, 90-minute sessions.
During the program you’ll be learning how to:
- Improve communication about sex
- Listen to, validate, and empathize with your partner
- Prioritize your sex life
- Discover and ask for what you want
- Explore your beliefs around sex and intimacy
- Initiate sex in a way that works
- Recognize what inhibits and what ignites your desire
- Access further information and resources about sex
FAQ
2024 Sex and Intimacy Counseling Session Fees:
- 90 minute intake/follow-up: €240
Couples fees include 21% BTW (VAT)
Please provide 48-hour notice for appointment changes or cancellations. Otherwise, the full session fee will be charged.
*All fees are subject to change once per calendar year
Yes! If you’d like to schedule a free 15-minute consult or an intake session, please contact me via email.
Starting counseling can bring up a lot of mixed feelings, especially if you don’t know what to expect. In order to help you feel confident and comfortable, I offer two ways of getting to know me, before you schedule an intake session.
You can contact me for a free 15-minute online consultation and/or register for my free welcome course. You can register for the course here.
I offer a free welcome course because I believe that it will save you time and money!
The course covers concepts from traditional couples therapy that I usually provide during an intake session. By offering this in advance, we can shift the focus of the intake towards starting the counseling process, rather than spending time (and money) on teaching you important concepts that can easily be learned at home.
It is not mandatory to follow this course before the intake. However, it is highly recommended.
In order to schedule a 90-minute intake session, please send me an email. I will inform you of what is available and/or place your name on the waiting list.
I offer sex and intimacy counseling sessions Monday through Thursday. First session 10:00 am and last session 4:00 pm
Couples counseling is typically not covered by Dutch health insurance. However, it’s recommended that you double check with your provider.
The program I offer is different in that traditional couples therapy tends to focus on couples in conflict who are unsatisfied in their relationship in general, or who might be considering leaving the relationship. Sex might be a topic of discussion, but it is often not the focus. Rather, the aim of therapy is about being better companions and having less conflict.
The core focus of my work is helping committed couples revitalize their sex life. The goal is to improve what you already have, not to help you decide if you should stay.
If the following is true about you or your relationship, I recommend you seek traditional couples therapy, individual therapy or sex therapy, instead of participating in this program:
- One of you wants more sex, but the other is not looking to make a change in this area of the relationship
- You see couples therapy as the last resort before separation or divorce
- You’re seriously questioning whether or not you want to stay in the relationship
- You’re planning on ending the relationship
- You’re no longer good companions, meaning that you’re not navigating daily life as a couple well together
- There has been a recent or unresolved infidelity
- You have active substance abuse, a trauma history or are currently clinically depressed, and haven’t received treatment
- Your issues around sex involve unresolved sexual trauma
- There is intermittent or ongoing violence within the relationship